Friendships? they’re one of the greatest things this life has to offer. With that being said, friendships must be handled with care. They’re a fragile bond that two people share. It’s like two people carrying a very expensive item made of glass; the glass must be held equally from both sides to be carried around without breaking. If one person decides to not put in as much effort into holding it as the other, balance will be lost, and the glass will shatter to the ground. Once a friendship is shattered, just like glass, it will never go back to how it once was. Problems may be resolved and people may be forgiven and just like glass it may be put back together, piece by piece, but you’ll always see the cracks and you will always sense the difference no matter how much you tried to glue all the pieces back together to the way they once were.
It is both a blessing and a curse to have such a big heart that is willing to give all its love to a friend. It is a blessing, because you get to make someone feel so loved and supported and in return they reciprocate the love and support. What else can anyone ask for? But unlike others, you … the one with the big heart … will never stop caring and will always keep giving, even when the other person has stopped giving back. That is what I call a curse.
I will not say that good friendships are not out there. I will not say that true friends are not out there. But what I will say is that nothing remains the same, not even “forever friendships”. Sure, people promise to always be there for each other no matter the time and distance that separate them and no matter how tough life gets. But who are we kidding? Life always gets in the way and changes us, changes our circumstances and ultimately changes the dynamic of our “forever friendships”. I’ve been in enough to know, that nothing lasts for as long as you’d want it to. And you know what? It’s okay. Because life does not stop for anyone and you will move on. Time heals all wounds and just like that one friend came along, another will too. The cycle repeats itself. But hold on!! It gets easier every time. So, don’t let this world and the people that cross your paths make you bitter. Let every person that comes along and walks away, make you better; A better person that is still willing to love the next friend just as much as the first, with every broken piece of your fragile heart that they left behind. Learn not to hate them for letting you go but to love them for giving you something worth being broken over. It means you shared enough laughter and happy moments to make letting go so hard. As Atticus once said, we are made of all those who have built and broken us. Therefore, you won’t be the person you are today without them. They added a missing piece of puzzle to your masterpiece. Be the person who wishes them well and hope that someday they’ll give enough of their heart to a friend, the way you did for them. Only then will they know the true meaning of loving someone with all your heart. Heartbreaks are not saved for lovers, they are made for friends too. And in my case, some friends broke my heart before any boy could.
I think the hardest part is not knowing why. Wondering where you went wrong? What caused the change? Is there anything you can still do? But the truth is that sometimes it’s truly not you. It’s not something you did or didn’t do. It’s just that some people are meant to cross your path as a rest stop but not as a final destination. That doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough anymore or that you were too much to handle but it just means that that person got what they needed/wanted out of your friendship and had to move on; it’s no longer growing them. Just like a rest stop, people get what they need from it and get back on the road. They are on their way to their final destination. You can’t keep them at a rest stop because that’s not where they need to be or where they were headed. But keep in mind that they also cannot reach their final destination without resting, without your help. They need what you have to offer. Do not feel like you are being used either because you’re gaining from them as much as they’re gaining from you. Just like a rest stop, they were good for business, they were essential to your self growth. Of course, you don’t want to lose a customer, a dear friend, when they leave and head back on the road but there will be another customer right around the corner and maybe, just maybe, they have reached their final destination.
What’s scary about friendships, and even relationships, is that they are choices we make. Unlike family, we are not born into friendships. Family members will always be your family whether you like it or not. They can’t wake up one day and decide to replace you with someone else, even if they wanted to. You are bond by blood ties and that’s that. On the other hand, we choose to be friends with someone. It is a risk we are taking, willingly taking. So, they might wake up one day and decide to replace you. It’s like risking getting a tattoo for a friend, its permanent but that friendship might not be. You might wake up one day and look at that tattoo, recognize the reason behind it, but not the person its tied to. The moral is, be wise about who you choose to give your all to because who you let in will always leave a mark on you that you can’t wash off, just like a tattoo.
Sometimes you’re going to get hurt when you no longer share the same friendship with someone who you truly care about and there are times when you hurt someone else because you’re the one letting them go but there are other times when it’s a mutual feeling, growing apart from each other.
I read this saying the other day that I, honestly, have to admit is too accurate: “I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.” This saying comes to show that some people just grow apart, grow apart enough that even saying hello is heavy. Those two people don’t have much in common anymore and having small talk with someone that you used to stay up all night talking to is even heavier. So why would anyone want to do that? No reason. And for that, we cross the street. Not to avoid them, but to avoid the small talk that reminds us that nothing remains the same … not even “forever friendships”.